An Intensive Journal (the bits I'm happy sharing)

Embracing the Dark - an autumn day of spiritual dance, near Peebles

2009-10-02T20:24:59Z

Embracing the Dark

An autumn day of spiritual dance

Saturday 7th November, 10:30 - 17:30
Manor Village Hall, Kirkton Manor, Peebles EH45 9JH

Please join me for an autumn day of Dances of Universal Peace at Kirkton Manor in the Tweed Valley, near Peebles on Saturday 7th November. We'll draw on my usual repertoire of dances inspired by Middle Eastern, Indian, Celtic and Native American traditions and (while not excluding lightness) will weave into this an acknowledgement and honouring of the dark half of the year. This is a time traditionally of remembering those who have passed on, and of giving time and space to quietness and renewal. If I can persuade myself to get out from under the blanket by the fire, I'll be there!

If you wish, bring a poem, thought, feeling or brief story to share into the silence between the dances - also seasonal or other precious items to place on an altar representing what is treasured in our hearts.

Please bring food to share for lunch. You may wish to bring a cushion and walking shoes for a lunchtime or evening walk. I'm also offering soup and unstructured house-warming activity at my house down the road in the evening - it would be great if you'd come along to that too.

The price is £10 if booked by 24th October, £15 thereafter. If money's an issue, please discuss with me. From Edinburgh-Peebles by 62 bus takes one hour. Taxi Peebles-Kirkton Manor is 3 miles.

Further details: www.chandrama.co.uk

Morning run - with studs

2009-07-23T08:09:32Z

White bright morning sheep
Stud the green fields like diamonds
While still great house sleeps

How many women
My mind imagines daily!
A stud - in my dreams

A Day of Spiritual Dance (and Walk), near Peebles

2009-07-05T09:46:17Z

A Day of Spiritual Dance (and Walk), near Peebles

Dancing in a beautiful rural location near the River Tweed on Saturday 8th August

I've booked my local village hall for a day of dancing, meditation practices, hopefully yummy food (this is up to you!) and a walk by the river.

We'll draw on a repertoire which includes dances honouring Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Celtic, Buddhist, Hindu, Native American and Sikh sources - although we possibly won't cover all of that ground in a single day. We'll also experiment with some of the 112 meditation practices given by Lord Shiva in the text "Vigyan Bhairav Tantra" which appears in the book "Zen Flesh, Zen Bones" compiled by Paul Reps.

No prior experience is needed. I carefully teach the words, tune and movements for all dances - and "getting it right" is less important than relaxing into the experience.

Time:

10:30 arrival for 11:00 start

13:00 bring and share lunch followed by walk down to the River Tweed
15:00 resume dancing
17:00 bring and share/cook together/takeaway meal
20:00 evening dance session until around 21:30

It is possible to attend for the morning only, but I'd rather not have people joining us part way through.

Price:

£12 booked in advance, £15 on the day.

If money is an issue, please discuss with me.

Venue:

Manor Village Hall, Kirkton Manor, Near Peebles, EH45 9JH.
(25 miles from Edinburgh.)

Transport:

62 bus Edinburgh-Peebles (1 hour). Taxis Peebles-Kirkton Manor (3 miles).

To bring:

Food to share for lunch
Cushion
Walking shoes & waterproof for optional walk
Food/ingredients for optional shared evening meal - or a chequebook for a takeaway

Dances of Universal Peace:

Invoking unity, love, harmony and beauty
Singing sacred phrases from many traditions
Joining in prayerful, celebratory movement
With live musical accompaniment
Entering silence, meditation and joyful sharing
More info on the website www.chandrama.co.uk

Tea boy

2009-04-21T10:45:43Z

A change in the working environment, now in some kind of almost warehouse-like, sprawling offices. I encounter a senior Japanese manager in an area of open-plan seating within a wide corridor. We end up in a physical fight, grappling and rolling down the stairs. He gravely instructs me to make him tea.

I struggle with the tea making. I'm unfamiliar with the ingredients, and uncertain what strength to make the tea. I try using two bags in a small pot, and also assemble some edibles to go with it. The presentation isn't looking good - cold toast half-spread with something or other, and tea cup balanced on a plate. The tea is luke warm too by the time I've got it all together.

Kris comments: "Is that 'scare tea'? In that case, you should make it weaker".

My first ever public Dances of Universal Peace event

2009-03-18T21:25:16Z

Come along, or wish me luck!

www.chandrama.co.uk

Loads of books

2008-12-13T01:00:33Z

Recently read:

Nature Cure by Richard Mabey
Personal account from "Food for Free" nature writer about recovering from life crisis and depression and uprooting from family home after 40+ years since childhood there. Nature observation, musings and re-tellings based on his own extensive reading, and personal narrative. Thoughts about our place in nature and encouragement to be more aware of what's around us, it's history and our interconnectedness. A gentle read.

Judaism - A Very Short Introduction by Norman Solomon
Seemed fine. I didn't have much knowledge of Judaism and now I've had a basic tour.

Change Your Life in Seven Days by Paul McKenna
Ignore the silly and unrealistic title, then enjoy practical advice about managing your thought patterns and directing them positively. I like the CD and played it each morning and evening for a good while. I don't know if it had much effect, but I felt loved and positive, so probably it did. Good section on clarifying one's values which actually led to a major change in my life, come to think of it (though not within the first seven days). Probably many other books have similar content, but I still enjoyed it and will re-visit.

Currently reading:

Desert Wisdom by Neil Douglas-Klotz
Ambitious and intellectual attempt to re-translate Middle Eastern religious texts directly from source rather than via the lense of antiquated Greek versions. Believes in inherent power of sounds and words, so very interested in Aramaic and Hebrew spiritual texts for use in meditative practices. Written by a key person in the Dances of Universal Peace world who focuses a lot on citizen diplomacy and peacemaking. I'm not far in yet.

Recently bought:

SAS Survival Guide: How to Survive Anywhere, on Land or at Sea by John Wiseman
Age inappropriate stocking filler for N. Looks good for me, though. Tea break reading at work, I think.

Celtic Wonder Tales by Ella Young
There's a Celtic creation myth in here I was interested in as it's the basis of a Dance of Universal Peace I recently encountered, that made me cry.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Playing the Guitar by Frederick Noad
Highly recommended by my guitar teacher, despite demeaning title. Alas, haven't got to it yet due to all kinds of pressures.

Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn't Teach You and Medication Can't Give You by Richard O'Connor
Highly recommended by a colleague, but I started feeling less depressed before managing to read it!

Murshid: A personal memoir of life with American Sufi Samuel L. Lewis by Mansur Johnson
Bought but not yet tackled.

Recently lent:

The Subtle Self by Judith Blackstone
Lent by my therapist. Looks promising.

An invitation to dance

2008-12-06T22:51:13Z

Hello Friends,

Perhaps you know that I've been training over the past two years to lead the Dances of Universal Peace, which is a joyous form of prayerful and meditative circle dance.

Well, I've got to the point where I'd actually like to get some dancing going locally, so I've set out my stall, as it were, at www.chandrama.co.uk, and I invite you to see if you'd like to join me in dancing some time.

At the moment I'm mostly taking soundings. Ideally I'd like a dance circle that meets weekly, but I'm open to other suggestions. Once I have a little feedback, and once we're through midwinter, I'll arrange a concrete date for a first dance.

If you have a moment, please let me know whether this sounds like your cup of tea, and if so, where and how often you might like to drink it.

Please also feel free to forward this message on to friends who you feel may be interested.

With best wishes for Christmas and Midwinter,

Dominic

Uncannimals

2008-11-11T21:43:22Z

Some 6am dreams:

I'm living in a, what is it, I'm working in a care institution of some kind for people with learning disabilities, and one young, one rather sweet young guy, he must have been about six, five or six, he steals the chocolate eggs that belong to one his co-residents, and runs off with them, and I decide to confront him about this rather than let him away with it - which surprises him, I think. But anyway, I get the chocolates back and give them to the rightful owner and then I sort of chase after him to try and stop him from misbehaving. And one of my new-found colleagues is rather surprised to see me being a bit heavy with this boy until I explain what the issue is.

I think there's a tree house involved, so I think I'm trying to gain access to the tree house where some of them are living, and I'm trying to climb up on a very thin rope - I'm sort of grabbing the rope and walking my way up the trunk, but that's not really working and some of the branches that hang down are sort of damaged and are likely to fall off if I try to pull myself up on them. I don't make it up into the tree.

And then for a while I'm doing some kind of strange walking meditation in the big hall in the institution, on my own, and it's something like everything's invisible, and I'm trying to get to the other end of the hall but the light is not visible and I'm walking my way out into the centre of the room as if I'm holding a rope and I can't really see. And there's somebody with me. But there comes a point where light is not visible, so there's no sensation, but we're sort of walking forward. And eventually we come to the end of the hall. We're not quite where we thought we'd be, we're facing the fireplace on the right rather than near the end, on the end wall. And then things become visible again and we re-orient ourselves. There was a bit of a scare when light itself disappears... And then, while finishing this off, a sort of teenagey girl comes into the room and sits down to watch television, which kind of disrupts me.

And, um the scene changes and I'm in a rented house, which is a bit like this house only it's expanded in various ways, and uncanny things start to happen. Like, I find that, I turn round in the evening and the corpse of a fox has been put on the fire to burn, and there's a dead weasel as well, which isn't in the fire and then a few other things have changed as well. One of the mouse traps which has a dead mouse, with rigor mortis, has been plugged into a mains power outlet at sort of light switch level in the living room, which clearly I did not do and rather surprises me. And then there's a door at the bottom of the stairs, which goes into a sort of never-entered storage cupboard area, which looks a bit uncanny and which I try to ignore, and the door is slightly ajar, it's refusing to shut properly, and I want it to shut because I don't want the kids looking in there. But inside there's this skeleton which I hadn't noticed before, which had clearly been stacked up on a chair, all the vertebrae had been stacked on a chair, but there's obviously been a bit of a landslide, so the lower part of the skeleton has fallen forward as if it's in the act of standing up, so it's a bit like the skeleton's decided to get up and walk - which I don't like much. And I associate it with the sort of strange happenings in the house. And, um, then I think, well, this dead weasel, I'll put that on the fire as well, because I don't want it lying around, so I put it on, and it immediately spontaneously is moved off again and I do this a couple of times, and the same thing happens, and I scream. This freaks me out. And, uh, that's about it.

Boundary walk

2008-10-13T22:40:36Z

I leave the car park at 9.40 and wade through waist-high, sneeze-inducing vegetation just inside the roadside fence, setting off clockwise around the perimeter. Some of the willows in the wet here look like they might be self seeded. Very thankful for my waterproof trousers, otherwise I'd be miserable from the outset. Looks like I'm heading straight up into cloud. There's a gate open onto the road (between stiles 1 & 2) at the foot of the quad bike track, which I close. Voracious looking sheep peer in from next door, thankfully retreating with vegetarian vows renewed as I approach. Heading uphill to the right of the cleuch I stow a few nasty stray remnants of fencing wire (fine gauge) by winding them around lower strands of the fence. Below the waterfall, a fine looking billy goat comes into sight and smell, and I spot a second a little later.

Stile 3 at 10.40. Neatly stacked remains of former electric fence. No evidence of bird strike on these sections (or elsewhere). Heather seems subjectively more abundant and taller inside the fence. There's a section of fence in which the lower wire is >12 inches above the ground, in a hollow, between two stobs that have angled support posts, about 1-200m below the leftward kink in the fence line. No sign that it's actually a problem, though.

Visibility is averaging 100 yards, in the cloud, so can't report much other than the boundary.

Brutal ascent after stile 4! Some recent herbivore droppings inside - don't know how to identify, look sheep-sized to me, but guess could be deer. Abundant rushes, and a few over-ripe, sparse blaeberries. A few more sections where the lower wire seems a bit on the high side, near the highest point of this section - but again no sign it's really a problem. Some nice little funghi.

I meet a hare on saddle yoke which sits watching me from just 5 yards away for a couple of minutes before loping off into the mist.

Stile 5 at 12.04. Lovely abundant rushes underfoot.

Stile 6 at 12.17. This season's hair style is punk - spiky tufted grass with green roots, fading to yellow then bronze tips.

I wonder what this stuff is that looks like ice on the ground, but is gooey?

Stile 7 at 12.37, Rotton Bottom. Looks like the fence may have been improved recently. One section in the swampy/ponded area is maybe a little low. An ambitious, bog-snorkelling, atheletic sheep might make something of it? I guess not.

More climbing. A flock of around 20 birds takes flight from just outwith the perimeter. I think oystercatchers, but I'm no bird man really.

Stile 8 at 13.08. Three humans pass.

A bird accompanies me along the next section, repeatedly flying ahead and waiting on the dyke till I get too close. Blackbird-sized, greyish, with white chevron-shaped splash visible while flying away. Bobs slightly when waiting on the rock. Eventually has come too far with me and turns back.

Stile 9 at 13.26. It's really blowing a gale here! Some stobs lifting a little with the tension on the wire, but only a few, and not yet a problem. Pretty autumnal ground cover plant.

Stile at the top at 14.00. Very weary now. A solitary goat outside the fence approaches and then passes me, making it's way down the edge of the conifer plantation.

Stile at 14.16. Are these big birds that take off singly or in pairs ravens?

Road at 14.47, Car 14.54.

Need lunch at the Glen Cafe!

Some pictures at http://www.flickr.com/photos/chandrama/sets/72157607999052486/

Good stuff from the past week or so

2008-10-05T20:42:04Z

Took delivery of firewood
Chose curtain fabric (with wonderful help) and lined up a visit from the seamstress
Got a carpet quote lined up
Spoke with A about Life
Learnt quite a bit of guitar
Got guitar stands
Re-strung a guitar for M and confirmed her lessons
Took down the scaffolding at A's
Stained the East end of A's house in the sunshine today
Moved the bookshelf upstairs to my bedroom and cleared most books into it
Moved the too-big yellow armchair out of my bedroom and downstairs without damaging the paint
Went cycling with N and visited V for an interesting and nice chat
Bought a microwave and started feeding myself sort-of properly
Remembered my niece A's birthday and sent her a present
Read more of Paul McKenna's "Change Your Life in 7 Days"
Brought home a fantastic half price golden sunburst mirror

Riffles and ruffles

2008-10-05T08:01:29Z

I am in the grounds of a sacred building, a minster or large chapel, with A, apparently. We have already been inside the building but realise we may have missed part of it, so return through a side entrance. Inside is a huge grotto of naturally formed limestone, candle-lit, with some fountain-like water flow, and shallow water on the ground in places, above uneven, bobbly white marble/limestone formations. The ceiling is low, and the space curves round to the left to re-join the body of the chapel where we'd been before.

It's lovely, and I'm starting to take it in, when A. starts an uncomfortable conversation about our past and our future. We enter niggles about the time I spend helping her out versus time I could more usefully spend sorting out my own household and life. She comments that perhaps I'd feel ashamed if I knew what the children really think.

I try to steer us back to enjoying the beauty of this place and this moment, but somehow my sense of peace is ruffled and disturbed.

Well done me, I did lots of stuff this weekend

2008-09-14T19:45:54Z

Cleared out the living room so that it can be painted.
Did 3 hours of staining at A's house.
Invited a friend round for M.
Looked after 3 (sometimes 4) kids without mishap, and with some fun.
Provided reasonably healthy food.
Got invited to a fun party and took the kids.
Mowed the lawn.
Got shot of two major items of furniture, on Freecycle.
Did the dishes (and again... and again).
Had a nice visit from J.

Off-road & off-hand

2008-05-13T21:04:36Z

There was a couple, perhaps a slightly uncertain couple, and they were driving off in the dark, through the countryside, and her attention must have wandered, because she drove the car off the side of the road and it went crashing down through the trees. And obviously they went to hospital, where her pregnancy was checked. She had said she thought the foetus had been damaged, but the nurses or doctors didn't detect that, but said that they couldn't be sure and that they would just have to wait and see. And the medical professionals, particularly the female professional, treated the father in a very off-hand, slightly rejecting, passive-agressive manner, as if he wasn't really relevant.

Hmm, there was more, not sure I can remember it. Something about being in a pub and something about packing, packing clothes or something. Being in a disorderly, untidy room that didn't belong to one. Yes, so, visiting, being a guest, and at the same time making quite a terrible mess in the allocated room. Going off to work from that place where I was a guest.

The nuns sang, all hail!

2008-05-12T06:29:34Z

I was going to work each day along the road, but I was basically camping out. It was in the town, and it was in a square, and it was at the top of a set of wide steps, a little like the steps around the art gallery in Edinburgh. It was a square that was part of the campus of a convent, and I was just sleeping there each night - I had my rucsack with my work clothes in it, and each morning I would get up and change into my clothes, rather indiscreetly. I think I thought that the nuns were probably still asleep or inattentive, so I just got changed in the open. And I think maybe someone else was there with me. But then, one morning it was hailing, or starting to hail, while I was getting changed into my boots, and that wasn't great, but then I noticed that all of the nuns were out in the square, in the courtyard, singing a welcome song to this man who was arriving in a car - some religious leader in their order, so there were singing nuns coming in and out of the various doors, and crossing the square, and greeting this man. And perhaps the song was a little familiar. But, fortunately I had no sense that any of them had seen me in my state of undress.

Unready for this role

2008-05-09T12:13:27Z

I was preparing to be in an amateur play. I was going to play some young lover role and I was ill prepared - I think I had joined the cast rather late on. And the first performance, or possibly the only performance was tonight, and I had to dress rather smartly, but I didn't have suitable clothes, and my jeans were torn, and I was wondering did I have time and skill enough to patch them. And I looked in the pockets (in the study at Kidston) and there were lots of tiny little sachets of salt and pepper and so on, and some little cotton bud like things which I had saved on a previous occasion, and I wondered what container I could put them in. And S was there - she was also in the play, and perhaps a little impatient at my unreadiness. When we did arrive at the venue I realised that I didn't particularly know the lines either - and I can't remember much about the performance.

Sleepy thoughts

2008-05-07T19:29:14Z

Phew, it seems pretty hard to get new habits/resolutions to take root. It's ages since I was playing around with morning routines, and most of the content didn't stick.

Anyway, here's another attempt.

Firstly, I think I need focus, meaning that I should set a "highest priority" item and give it my best shot until it seems to be embedded - rather than trying to change too many things at once.

So, my first priority for now is SLEEP.

I don't do enough of it. Then I show up at work frazzled, inefficient and short-tempered.

Resolution:

I will prioritise sleep.
Specifically, I will ensure I have 8 hours a night
Normally by going to bed at 10, sleeping by 10.30 and getting up at 6.30.

In other news, I've finally got around to trying to commute by bus rather than car:

I'll aim for 1 or 2 times a week (when I don't have evening commitments that complicate things)
It seems alright judging by today:

5-10 mins in the car
An hour on the bus (and I can work on the bus)
Another 15 mins by bus within town

I feel all pleased with myself - though it's taken ages even to try such a simple thing.

Drunk in charge

2008-03-19T06:34:19Z

I'm last out the door towards some work expedition to the pub. They've all gone ahead, but I take a taxi. It must be a large fare, because the driver gives me a "three free trips" voucher when I pay. I'm feeling rather left out, not part of the group.

Back at the office, after pub, lots of the guys are drunk and are playing with the new photo printer. "One, two, three, yay!" they chorus, as a large print box crashes out of the machine onto the floor. This happens again, and I'm observing nervously from my desk - seems to be getting out of hand. Sure enough, on next call, not only the print box, but a flood (gallons) of black toner pours out on to the floor.

The security guy tells me that my access key is the master copy, so please to be careful. Apparently it's so powerful that it'll interfere with other electronic equipment - so don't expect to be able to read my e-mail within a few yards' range.

Resurrection / Festival of Pies

2008-03-18T08:02:22Z

Bhagwata has come back from the dead to visit me.
He appears gently sceptical about some of my life decisions.
There is some kind of Festival of Pies.
We're upstairs, and possibly B has emerged from under the tables or under the eaves.

Mystical books

2008-03-10T21:58:53Z

Just finished reading Hazrat Inayat Khan's "The Unity of Religious Ideals".

Also currently working with Neil Douglas-Klotz's "Original Prayer" CD set, based on the Lord's Prayer in the original Aramaic language of Jesus.

Flipping canoe

2008-01-28T08:06:30Z

Camping on an island (not Tiree) with A & canoe. Driving to find a suitable bay to paddle across - A has one in mind and is map reading while I drive. I'm improvising while she prepares to navigate and I ask, well, which quarter of the island is it on?

Meanwhile I take us through a descending tunnel to the North coast, emerging at a bay where others are on the water. We launch the canoe but within less than a minute capsize due to unpreparedness, in the swell. I hold my phone above the water to save it.

Should we hope to dry off quickly and continue the trip? Or retreat to the camp?

Indian sweeties

2008-01-15T22:00:36Z

I'm being accommodated in a bed/sitting room within a flat where a female Indian colleague lives. Maybe there's a balcony on the room, with white translucent curtains. It's in town, on an upper floor. The room is a thoroughfare between different parts of the flat, so she and her friend need to come through. They seem embarassed. I like her. She's shy, sweet, and pretty.

Mind mapping monarchs

2007-11-16T09:00:26Z

I've been reading Tony Buzan's book Mind Maps for Kids, all about fun improvements to one's memory.

Main technique: Mind Maps.
Others: memory movies, number rhymes and so on.

Number rhymes:

0: Hero
1: Bun
2: Shoe
3: Tree
4: Door
5: Hive
6: Sticks
7: Heaven
8: Skate
9: Vine

So, as someone who thinks of himself as having a poor memory, here's the beginning of my attempt to memorise the reigns of the English monarchs. It's a mind map of my memory movie that fixes the names and dates in my mind. And hey, it seems to work!

Land of the Picts

2007-11-04T14:54:03Z

There's a woolly mammoth outside the window
I'd take a picture, but I'm on the phone to you.
It seems a shame, but
Maybe next time I take this train
She'll still be there under the street lamp.

The August snow is lying thick now
Plenty of work for the gritters and the ploughs.
I hope the drifting
Won't stop me driving back home
Where the compost festers by the window.

Far in the frozen North
In my empty hall of stone
The summer snow is falling
Sad penguins are calling
We should rebuild Hadrian's wall
And never cross it at all.

Unicorn 2007

2007-08-30T21:54:39Z

I have more pictures of Unicorn 2007 on Flickr.

Non-collaborative sonnet

2007-08-14T12:38:20Z

Oh dear, it seems like I have too much time on my hands - although actually that aint so...

You shouldn't go to school without your shoes.
I foolishly did so when I was small:
For weeks, my feet so clumsily abused,
I'm lucky I've two left feet left at all.
They're crushed by bullies jostling in queues
And splintered on malicious gym hall floors,
Accused of cheesy smells in Student News,
Frostbitten in the frozen great outdoors.
I found that you can push your feet too far,
For, after braving broken glass and pee,
Used gum, post-midnight sick, sun-blistered tar,
My feet rebelled and walked right out on me.
Protect your pair from bullies, grime and weather:
Make sure they schoolward scurry clad in leather.